Table etiquette rules: norms and culture of behavior

Table events are an exam for every person in knowledge of etiquette and good manners. Modern life is hard to imagine without going to a restaurant or visiting. Compliance with the rules will help both the guest and the host of the event to appear in society as an educated individual with properly instilled communication skills.

Often the concepts of "ethics" and "etiquette" are equated or combined. Ethics has a broader meaning, speaking of it, one should keep in mind the personal moral and moral values ​​of the individual. Such traits of a person are brought up from early childhood. Usually the depth and strength of an individual's morality depend on interpersonal relationships in the family (family model), methods of education, efforts of educational institutions aimed at instilling good manners in schoolchildren, a friendly environment, personal character traits.

Etiquette is a set of specific rules that any well-mannered person must adhere to., these are the norms of behavior adopted by society for society as a whole or for a specific individual in particular.You can be a highly moral person with exceptionally correct moral values, but not know good manners. And vice versa.

Table etiquette is the rules of how a person should behave in a restaurant, guests, at a picnic, the order of relationships between a man and a woman, people of different ranks and ages at such events.

You can highlight the basic elements of how to behave during a feast. Such rules are known and understood by both children and adults. Therefore, you should start instilling good manners in yourself and the younger generation from the following basics:

• Compliance with etiquette proxemics. Proper placement of guests at the table is important. Thus, the host of the event takes place at the head of the table, all important, honorable and senior guests are seated near the host on the right and left hand, youth and children at the opposite end of the table. Sometimes the youngest are given a separate children's table.
• It is very important to keep track of what intonation prevails in the voice during a conversation, the timbre, volume, tone, speed of speech. The voice should sound clear, no need to speak too fast, loud exclamations are unacceptable. You can't talk with your mouth full.
• At the table, you need to monitor your gestures and posture. You can’t fall apart on a chair, put your elbows on the table, sit with your hand resting your cheek, legs crossed, waving your arms, especially if there are appliances in them.
• At the table, you can not start a conversation that can provoke an argument.Politics, religion, health and money are closed topics of conversation. Also, you can not discuss your diet, alcohol restriction and foods that you are allergic to. You should silently put aside an unsuitable dish, replace alcohol with any other drink.

• A linen napkin should be spread on your knees, so contamination of clothes is excluded, and it is also possible to quietly wipe your hands on it.
• You can start eating when everyone has food on their plates, and also after the host of the holiday starts eating.
• If during the meal you come across a piece that cannot be chewed or a bone, you should quietly carry the napkin to your lips and remove the inedible element.
• During the feast, you should turn off the phone or put it on silent mode. In no case should you put it next to the plate on the table.
• A woman should put a handbag or clutch bag behind her on a chair, a large bag on the floor or hang it on the back of a chair. Sometimes restaurants offer a special chair for bags, you can use it. You can’t even put bags and packages on the table for a while.
• If cutlery or food has fallen on the floor, you should not focus on this, you need to call the waiter and ask for a new one. You can not bend under the table and pick up a fallen object.
• Do not use a toothpick at the dinner table. When there is a pause in the conversation, you need to apologize and leave the table. You can remove the stuck piece of food in the restroom.

Before you go to an event, you should learn more about its nature. This can help in choosing an outfit, for women - also in choosing a hairstyle and makeup.

If the event is official, most likely all the guests were offered programs. They usually indicate the start time, the time of the entertainment or official part, the time of the buffet and the end of the evening.

Informal feasts are often more intimate and relaxed. Men can neglect ties, and ladies evening dresses to the floor. However, this does not exempt from observing the etiquette of behavior at the table.

Usually, at the entrance to the restaurant, guests are met by a hostess or head waiter. An employee of the establishment offers his customers free tables and calls the waiter to take the order. If there is no such position, you can ask any waiter to help you choose a place or decide on your own. A man accompanies his lady to her place, usually on the left, helps to sit on a chair.

Then the evening develops according to the classical scenario, each scene of which is regulated by the rules of etiquette:

• The waiter brings the menu and gives the guests time to make their choice. The right of primacy in the choice of dishes belongs to a woman. However, there is a common mistake that women often make. Saying "Order something to your taste" is absolutely impossible. Correct interpretation - “Advise what is better to order? ".
• A man makes an order to the waiter after listening to the wishes of the woman.
• Girls should not choose too cheap dishes, this can be a hint to a man that, in her opinion, he is not wealthy enough. But the choice of the most expensive dishes in relation to a woman can cause unnecessary speculation.

• The specifics of the restaurant should be taken into account. If the event takes place in a Mediterranean restaurant, you do not need to order borscht or dumplings.
• If the choice is difficult, you can call the waiter, clarify what ingredients are in the dish, what is the time of its preparation.
• You should not address the waiter as "you", usually the employees of the institution have a name badge on which the name is written.
• While waiting for the order, you should start a small talk. The topic of the conversation should be general, do not go into details and go deep. The interlocutors should look into each other's eyes, speak not loudly so as not to disturb others, and also create an intimate atmosphere of a date.
• While the dishes are being prepared, the waiter can bring a bottle of wine as an aperitif. A male guest should not uncork it on his own, as well as pour a drink. This is the task of the waiter. In order to pour a second glass, it is not necessary to wait for the waiter. First, the lady is served, then the man can pour himself a drink. The glass should be filled to a little less than half.
• The glass should be held with three fingers by the leg. Thus, it will remain as clean as possible, and this is important for the aesthetic component, which is key in the concept of etiquette.

• To notify the waiter about the change of dish, you need to put cutlery obliquely on top of the plate. The fork and knife connected at the free end indicate that the meal is not over yet.It should be remembered that it is absolutely impossible to put cutlery on the table after use, their place is only on a plate.
• You should not try your partner's dish. The only way to find out what it tastes like is to order the same.
• In a restaurant, it is customary to eat slowly, enjoying the taste and process. Even if the feeling of hunger is very strong, you should follow the partner's pace, otherwise he will take it as an escape or a desire to leave the restaurant as soon as possible.
• When dinner is over, the napkin is placed to the left of the plate.
• The gentleman pays first. A woman should not interfere, ask “How much? ” or try to pay your half by putting money on a man.
• If a man and a woman have friendly relations, payment of a 50/50 check is possible, then the man, having studied the check, tells the woman the amount of her order, and they agree on a tip.

In the modern world, business meetings are very often held in restaurants and cafes. This is especially true during international business visits. The host party introduces partners to the customs and culture of their country. In this case, the invited party should familiarize themselves with the traditions before the event so as not to offend their partners. Generally speaking, the following rules must be observed:

• First of all, a business meeting is a solution to a business issue. If it does not take place at lunchtime, then you should limit yourself to a cup of coffee or tea.
• When meeting with a partner, you should adhere to the main principle: time is money. You can start solving the issue immediately after the greeting, without being distracted by small talk.
• After discussing the issue, you should briefly summarize the results of the meeting, if there is time left, move on to abstract topics in order to maintain personal relationships.
• During international feasts, the inviting party pays. If a business meeting is limited to coffee or tea, then everyone pays for himself.

Historically, food intake among different peoples of the world developed in its own way, taking into account national characteristics, the structure of life, the influence of conquerors, cultural and historical facts. In many countries, table etiquette rules overlap with each other. Thus, it is possible to single out a common international etiquette, but there is always a place for originality.

Russia is a large international country in which all-European norms of behavior at the table are officially adopted. However, given that there are more than 190 nationalities in our country, traveling through it, you can meet unusual traditions and norms of behavior at the table.

Tatars attach great importance to etiquette proxemics at the table. The head of the family starts the meal first, only then the rest of the family and guests. They leave the table only when the head of the family has left. Praise be to Allah before and after the meal.

The peoples of the Caucasus have other features. Each family member has his own role, which must be observed without prejudice. It is worth noting an important feature: men and women in the Caucasus do not eat together at the same table. Men eat first, then women and children.

Any large feast in the Caucasus must have a manager - "master of ceremonies". The oldest and honored guest of the event can become a toastmaster. He says toasts and gives the right to say a word to others.A Caucasian feast without toast is not a feast. They are distinguished by extraordinary splendor and exaltation of master's merits.

Among the Mongolian and Buryat peoples, the guest at the table is first offered a bowl of tea or vodka. The guest, taking a bowl, should stick the thumb of his right hand into the drink and sprinkle it towards the hearth. Interestingly, in some places this custom has really survived to this day. Of course the customs of many peoples are gradually weakening, more and more families are beginning to adhere to European standards of etiquette.

For those who are lucky enough to receive an invitation to dinner in France, it is worth knowing:

• Lunch and dinner in France always starts with an aperitif, which is selected depending on the region. To drink a glass of wine, the French do not need a reason, they begin to drink a wine drink from adolescence. Wine is matched strictly to the dish that is expected. If it is fish - dry white wine, meat - dry red.
• Usually the French eat out, as it is not customary for them to cook. In cafes, bistros and restaurants, meetings with friends, relatives, just a family dinner are held. Sometimes men and women visit cafes to drink a cup of coffee and read a book or newspaper.
• The French also love family holiday dinners. Usually they consist of several servings, each of which has several dishes. The filing process itself is carried out from right to left.
• While the guests are being served a new dish, you can’t keep your hands under the table, on your knees - such a gesture can be regarded as distrust. You should lower your wrists to the corner of the tabletop.
• Large feasts in the circle of close friends and relatives are held with a complex table setting, all generally accepted norms of etiquette are observed.

• Be careful with the use of spices. Do not be too zealous - this may offend the hostess or the cook, since it can be assumed that the dish was not liked, that they want to “embellish” it.
• In France, it is not customary to ask for more wine or a change of wine. The French believe that only a specific wine can be consumed with a specific dish. Also, do not add ice to a glass of wine. A change in temperature will affect the experience of the drink, and melting ice will change the taste.

The British are very scrupulous about the observance of etiquette, especially at the table. Even in the circle of close friends and relatives, dinner is held according to all the rules of good manners. It can be said that the main rule of etiquette in England is the observance of etiquette.

At the table, use the devices according to their purpose. The knife is held strictly in the right hand, the fork - in the left. It is not allowed to shift cutlery, in addition, the sharp end of the knife and fork always look towards the plate.

An unusual rule, but if the invited guest has an allergy to any ingredient or has special requirements for products, the hosts should be warned about this 2 days before the event. At a large table in England it is unacceptable to have an intimate conversation with only one guest, the topic should be common to everyone, and you should not contact a stranger.

Every time a new dish is served to a guest, you should say "thank you". If there is a common dish on the table, you should not put too much on your plate, you need to put enough so that after the end of the feast the plate is clean. Otherwise, the host may consider that the guest did not like the dish.

In Korea, it is also not customary to leave half-eaten rice on a plate or too much from another dish. Also, do not use a spoon and chopsticks at the same time, stir the soup with appliances, select certain pieces and separate them from the main dish. Lunch should be finished by everyone at the same time.

Sometimes in Korean restaurants, the waiter serves the table without leaving it. His task is to ensure that guests always have food on their plates. Therefore, a satiated guest needs to leave a small piece of the half-eaten dish, which will become a signal that the supplement is no longer required. The same rule applies to drinks.

The Chinese are very jealous of their traditions and customs, strictly follow them themselves and are very happy when foreign guests try to adhere to them.

The Chinese start their meal with flower tea. This drink acts as an aperitif and also entertains the audience until the rest of the invited guests arrive.

In Chinese etiquette, the shape of the table is important - it is always a circle. The traditions of the country are very symbolic. So, the circle is the earth, fertility and the feminine. The center of the table rotates around the axis, and since all dishes are common, it is very convenient to rotate such a center in order to bring the desired dish closer. Despite the fact that all dishes are common, anyone can make an individual order, but it should be noted that everyone can also eat it.

The Chinese will be very pleased if foreign guests use chopsticks while eating. And it is not necessary to hold them correctly. As convenient as it is right. However, it is very uncivilized to use such a traditional device for other purposes. Do not use sticks as a pointer, gnaw them, just put them in your mouth. Between meals, chopsticks lie on a special stand, you can’t leave them on a plate, and sticking them into food is insulting.

First, the first courses are served - soups, which are the only portions, then the "main meal" - rice or noodles, and dessert completes the evening. You should not lean heavily and overeat, a feast in China is an occasion to taste different dishes and enjoy their taste.

The national customs of Turkey are gradually being supplanted under Western influence. Restaurants and behavior there have completely switched to the rules of international etiquette. But in Turkish houses, you can still encounter the fact that the owners observe the peculiarities of life, personifying the history of the country.

For those who were invited to visit, you should know:

• Coming to a Turkish house, you should take off your shoes on the threshold in front of the door. It is unacceptable to enter a house or apartment in street shoes.
• Turks eat at a low round table, sit on the floor in Turkish style, their feet are hidden under the tabletop.
• You should never refuse the offered food, it can offend the hosts. You should try at least a small piece and praise the dish.
• Turks serve common meals on a tray. Each guest fills his plate with his hand or a spoon. You should not choose pieces "better" - this is also indecent.
• The meal should be started after the approval of the head of the family.
• The feast usually lasts at least two hours. The Turks follow the order of dishes, so after the main serving, tea, coffee, and sweets should be served. Eat slowly, enjoying the process.
• It's not worth staying too long either. You should politely thank for lunch or dinner and leave.

Compliance with internationally accepted rules of etiquette is the best proof of good upbringing. Every country in the world appreciates good manners. Tourists and foreigners are often forgiven for ignorance of the peculiarities of the traditions and way of life of the country, but you should not abuse your position.

There are several rules that should be followed when visiting a foreign country or in an unfamiliar company:

• You can bring dessert for tea and give it to the hostess at the meeting;
• You should not sit down at the table before the host's invitation;
• You should not start eating before the host starts;
• No need to build a mountain of food on your plate, it is better to put a little bit of each dish, eat it, and only then reach for the supplement. This method will protect against overeating, and also allow you to leave the plate clean after yourself;
• Do not ask too many questions to hosts or other guests;
• You should always be modest and friendly, be sure to thank the hosts and note the culinary talent of the hostess.

For information on how to behave at the table, see the next video.