Important rules of conduct in a conflict situation

Due to excessive temper and irritability, it is often not possible to resolve the conflict peacefully. However, even when the interlocutor refuses to understand his opponent, one should not forget about the banal norms of etiquette and rules of conduct, usually familiar to many from childhood. It is also worth paying attention to the advice of conflict psychologists - professionals in resolving controversial situations.

To identify the main rules of behavior, it is necessary to start with the definition of conflict. This is a situation in which two parties participate, adhering to a certain position that does not meet the interests of the opponent or several opponents. Conflicts occur because of a mismatch of interests of certain individuals or groups of people. The rules of conduct in a conflict situation determine what character the discussion will take on.

The conflict itself includes three main phases:

• Awareness. The parties come to the understanding that their interests do not converge, the interaction between them takes on the character of a confrontation.
• Strategy. After realizing the difference in their positions, the parties determine the lines of behavior that serve as a source of resolving the issue or problem.
• Action. The subjects of the quarrel determine effective methods of action, depending on the goal that they want to achieve in the end. The final stage may lead to a compromise, a consensus, or to the fact that each participant remains in the original position.

As a rule, quarrels arise spontaneously and are accompanied by the manifestation of strong emotional reactions. Sometimes a conflict can spoil the relationship between people who have entered into a dispute because of its negative component. But the conflict also has its advantages: in such situations, subjects can identify contradictions among themselves, speak out and no longer hold negative emotions in themselves.

The effective use of these aspects of the situation helps to build stronger non-conflict relationships and treat with greater calmness the manifestation of the interlocutor's complex character traits.

Social relations are a phenomenon that is not always easy to deal with. Sometimes the accumulated problems get out of control and turn into a quarrel. If a controversial situation has occurred, and participation in it is inevitable, the participants in the conflict usually follow 5 basic patterns of behavior that lead to one or another move and the end of the confrontation. These diagrams look like this.

Adaptation. The essence of this method is that one side of the conflict is silent about its interests and adapts to the requirements of the other participant in the quarrel. This will reduce the time of the quarrel, but will in no way lead to long-term mutually respectful relations, since sooner or later the subject of the dispute will again make itself felt.

avoidance. A fairly large number of people tend to minimize their participation in quarrels in this way.This is due to the emotional discomfort caused by the conflict. In an effort to avoid such a situation, one of the parties moves away from the quarrel psychologically or even physically.

Compromise. This type of problem solving is characteristic of mature people who are able to make certain concessions. The final solution will require some sacrifice on each side, but all parties to the dispute will receive some satisfaction in their interests.

Rivalry is a method of active interaction, in which all participants in the conflict take quite aggressive positions, trying to prove the correctness of their point of view. This is not justified if you want to build a constructive dialogue and continue long-term cooperation, because after some time, dissatisfaction with the resolution of the quarrel will make itself felt.

Cooperation is the resolution of a disputable situation in such a way that the wishes of all the subjects of the conflict are taken into account. In the process of resolving the issue, the parties discuss the problem and ways to deal with it, voice their attitude to the situation. The result obtained necessarily satisfies all parties to the dispute.

Conflict is just as much a form of interaction and communication as any other. And even in a conflict situation, it is necessary to communicate correctly with each other. Being ethical will not resolve the fight, but it will make it less difficult to get out of it. There are certain rules of conduct recommended by experts. As a guide to action, a memo is presented based on the main rules they developed:

• As a rule, a quarrel arises due to excessive tension or obsession with a problem, and an irritated person is not able to adequately perceive information. It is necessary to allow the party to the conflict to speak out, and only then try to soundly voice their position.
• Quite often in conflicts, aggression caused by irritation is manifested. In turn, anger arises from the inability to convey or impose one's point of view. In such cases, it is worth switching the attention of the opponent, transferring it to abstract objects that bring positive emotions. It is important not to show retaliatory aggression, otherwise there is a risk of not finding a worthy resolution to the disputed situation.
• It is necessary to observe a culture of behavior. In quarrels, both aggression and disrespect for the opponent are unacceptable. You should not give an emotional assessment of the actions of another participant in the conflict, insult his opinion or simply defiantly ignore him.
• It is necessary to try to listen to the position of the opponent, ask clarifying questions, and then, in the same way, briefly and competently state your opinion. Talk to him gently and as less aggressively as possible.
• We should not forget that, trying to prove their point of view by all available methods, one of the parties runs the risk of remaining completely misunderstood.
• If there is a consciousness of being wrong, the best way to get out of the conflict is a sincere apology.

These important rules of conduct in a conflict situation apply both to disputes with a boss or colleagues, and to quarrels between loved ones.

The code of conduct in conflict situations from a professional coach in the following video will help you avoid unpleasant emotions.