Speech etiquette: subtleties of communication culture

In any place, wherever a person is, it is always customary to politely address the interlocutor. Every day we greet, thank, apologize, offer, ask for something, say goodbye. Speech etiquette is the ability to politely communicate with the interlocutor. Using etiquette in everyday communication will help you build good and trusting relationships with people.

Since ancient times, human communication and human speech have played a huge role in the life and culture of mankind. Speech culture is reflected in the languages ​​of various countries and peoples. Thanks to linguistic traditions, we have an idea of ​​the culture of countries, their national values ​​and worldview.

Human speech is the most important sign by which one can understand the level of development and literacy of a person. Do not underestimate the importance of etiquette in the life of any person, since it is he who often acts as a connecting element in work and social life.

Speech etiquette implies a set of norms, thanks to which a person understands how to communicate, maintain relationships with other people in different life situations. The rules of etiquette are very diverse, there is no common single "formula" of communication. Any country is rich in its cultural subtleties of communication.

This type of etiquette interacts very strongly with the very practice of communication, its components are present in any conversation. If you correctly follow the rules of speech etiquette, then you can competently and clearly convey to a person what you want from him. Mutual understanding and sympathy are also achieved much faster.

Speech etiquette also borders on other humanities - linguistics (as well as its subsections - morphology, lexicology, stylistics, phonetics, phraseology, etymology and others), psychology, and, of course, cultural characteristics of other countries.

To successfully master the skills of cultural conversation, you should apply the formulas of speech etiquette.

Starting formulas are instilled in a child from childhood. This is what parents teach us - how to properly greet a person, say goodbye, express gratitude, apologize. Getting older, each person adopts new features in communication, learns different types of speech.

So, etiquette formulas are a set of generally recognized words and expressions that are used in conversation. They are applied in three stages of the conversation:

• Starting a conversation (greeting). The phrases that are selected for greetings depend on your interlocutor.It is important to take into account his gender, age, social status. There are no rigid frames. The standard greeting is "Hello! or "Good morning! ". Such an appeal is universal and suitable for everyone - both for your friends and relatives, and for superiors.
• Main part of the conversation. Here the formulas depend on the purpose of the conversation.
• Conclusion. According to the general rules, it is customary to say goodbye or arrange a subsequent meeting. You can use universal options: “Goodbye! " or "All the best."

As noted above, etiquette is some rules of conduct that are instilled in a person from childhood. The concept of the foundations of this definition is based on cultural values. Compliance with these norms helps to build good relationships with people. Today's norms of etiquette were not invented intentionally. Words, phrases and various conversational techniques have been formed over many centuries in the process of communication between people.

The word "etiquette" itself is of Greek origin. It means "order". In the future, the word took root tightly in France. It began to be used at the end of the 17th century, during the reign of Louis XIV. The word "Etiquette" denoted a card on which the norms of behavior at the king's table were indicated.

The rules of speech etiquette were formed in ancient times, when a person was just beginning to learn how to build relationships with his interlocutor. Already in those days, certain norms of behavior began to form, helping to gain understanding and make a favorable impression on the interlocutor.

The norms of correct behavior can be found in the manuscripts of the inhabitants of Ancient Greece and Ancient Egypt.In those days, these norms were a kind of ritual, with the help of which people could understand that they did not pose a threat to each other, they thought “on the same wavelength”.

The basic purpose of speech etiquette is to form a connection and contact between groups of people. Compliance with general rules and norms makes the interlocutor more understandable to other people. We understand what can be expected from him, as we begin to trust the communication skills we know.

This feature arose in ancient times, when danger lay in wait for man everywhere. At that time, the observance of ritual communication was very important. When another person, who is also the interlocutor, performed familiar and understandable actions, called the necessary and understandable words, this greatly simplified the interaction, softening distrust.

Now we understand at the gene level that a person who observes these norms can be trusted. Norms form a favorable atmosphere, have a positive impact on the person with whom the conversation is being conducted.

With the help of etiquette, we demonstrate our respect and reverence to our opponent. Etiquette emphasizes the status of a person.

It is important to note that written and oral etiquette is quite different. Written ethics is strictly regulated, has a stricter framework, it is important to observe its norms. Conversational ethics is freer in its manifestation, words and phrases can be replaced by actions, and sometimes omissions of words are allowed. An example is a greeting - instead of the usual “Good afternoon / evening! ” You can slightly nod your head or replace it with a small bow.In some situations, this is dictated by ethical rules of conduct.

Etiquette is divided into the following types:

• Business. It is also called official. Normalizes the behavior of a person when he performs his duties. Characteristic for official documentation, negotiation, public speech. It can also be used for discutive-polemical speech.
• Everyday. It is characterized by great freedom of action. As the name implies, it is actively used by us in everyday life.

The application of etiquette in different settings may vary. For example, you can switch from a formal setting to an informal one if there has been a change in the address to the interlocutor from the official “You” to the more familiar “You”.

All norms of behavior are initially based on generally accepted moral principles. Elements of speech etiquette are no exception.

The main principle can be characterized by the correct attitude towards the interlocutor. In any conversation, it is important to put yourself in the place of the interlocutor. This will help smooth out sharp corners and avoid unwanted conflicts.

Language etiquette consists of principles that can be called "basic terms":

• brevity;
• Relevance;
• Literacy;
• Accuracy.

It is important to choose phrases that are suitable for a particular situation, taking into account the status of a person, as well as the degree of your acquaintance with him. The speech should be short but to the point. It is important not to lose the meaning of the conversation.

The interlocutor must be treated with respect, showing the necessary share of respect.

Cultural speech cannot exist without observing the general norms of communication between people:

• When addressing another person, it is important to take into account gender, social status, and, of course, the age of the interlocutor. Phrases and words that you can say to a friend may not be acceptable to a stranger, your boss or a person of age.
• The use of "you" and "you". On "you" it is customary to refer to family members, friends, close relatives and some acquaintances. To an interlocutor who is younger than you in age, such an appeal is also acceptable. "You" is considered to be a neutral polite address to a stranger, a person who has a higher position, to the older generation. Violation of the boundaries between "you" and "you" is considered to be familiar and rude, discourteous.
• Rudeness, contemptuous tone and insults should not be in your speech. If, due to circumstances, it is not possible to be kind to the interlocutor, then it is better to use a neutral, respectful tone.
• Terribly ugly and disrespectful when communicating with a person is considered yawning, a manifestation of boredom, constant interruption.

Human behavior in various situations is based on etiquette. So, these include:

• Establishing contact (greeting);
• Acquaintance;
• Appeal;
• Advice;
• Sentence;
• Expression of gratitude;
• Consent or refusal;
• Congratulation;
• Compliments and more.

For various situations, there are standard speech formulas. Let's take a closer look at some situations.

In this case, etiquette formulas are aimed at establishing contact with the interlocutor. This is a greeting to the interlocutor. The most universal and frequently used word is the word "Hello". The word has many synonyms, from the simple "Hello" in close relationships to the standard polite "Good day" and "My respects." The use of greeting synonyms is determined by many factors - the degree of acquaintance, age, proximity of the opponent, and, in the end, your field of work.

When establishing contact, greeting is an important point. The words “I’m sorry” or “I’m sorry” or “I can contact you” can attract the attention of a person. It is worth adding an explanatory phrase to them why you turned to a person: a request, an offer or an idea.

The situation of address is the most difficult etiquette situation, since it is not always easy to find the appropriate appeal to a person.

During the Soviet Union, the standard address was the universal word "Comrade". It was used in relation to all people, regardless of their gender. Currently, the address "Mr." or "Madam" is used.

It is considered polite to address the interlocutor using his first and middle name. The appeal "Woman" or "Girl", "Young man" are inappropriate and rude. In the performance of official duties, it is allowed to refer to the title of the position: “Mr. Deputy Director”.

This stage is important in that the interlocutor will make a final impression of you. When saying goodbye, you can use standard phrases: "See you", "Goodbye", "All the best." With closer contact or a longer acquaintance, you can use an informal farewell in the form of the word "Bye".

It is reasonable to include gratitude for the time allotted for communication and for the work done in the final stage of contact. You can express a wish for further cooperation. At the end of the conversation, it is important to make a good impression. In the future, this will help to find long-term and mutually beneficial cooperation.

Consider also the dating situation. It is important to pay attention to handling here. As mentioned above, it is customary to use “You” to refer to familiar people with whom you are in a close or friendly relationship. In other cases, it is preferable to use the appeal "you".

If you introduce people to each other, then you can use the following phrases: “Let me introduce you”, “Let me introduce you”. The presenting person should give a small general description of the person being represented, for the convenience of the interlocutor. Usually they call the surname, name and patronymic, position and some important detail. Acquaintance interlocutors usually utter words that they are glad to meet you.

A fairly large number of speech formulas are used to express gratitude. These include the phrases “Thank you”, “Thank you”, “Very grateful” and so on.

There are also many phrases for congratulations. In addition to the usual "Congratulations", it is customary to come up with individual congratulations, various holiday poems.

When inviting an interlocutor to various events, it is important to observe certain norms of behavior. The elements of the invitation and the offer are somewhat similar, they usually emphasize the special significance of a person.

Fixed phrases for an invitation: “We invite you ...”, “Please visit ...”, “Please come ...”. When inviting, it is appropriate to indicate that you are waiting for an interlocutor. This can be done with the phrase "We will be glad to see you."

The request is characterized by the use of stable expressions “We ask you”, “Could you please”.

In the life of any person there are tragic moments when you have to use speech etiquette with condolences or sympathy. The main rule is that this must be done as tactfully as possible so as not to aggravate the situation.

It is important that your words sound sincere, it is recommended to use encouraging words. When expressing condolences, it is appropriate to offer your help. For example, you can say: "Please accept my sincere condolences in connection ... You can count on my help if necessary."

Compliments are one of the important components of any relationship between people. With their help, you can significantly strengthen relationships. But you should be careful. From compliments to flattery, there is a very thin line, they are distinguished only by the degree of exaggeration.

According to the general rules of etiquette, compliments should refer directly to a person, and not to things. Let's consider a specific situation. How to compliment a woman in a beautiful dress? According to the general rules of etiquette, it would be wrong to say “This dress suits you so much! ". Correct use of the phrase “You are so good in this dress! ".

In today's world it is very important to use praise. You can praise the interlocutor for his character, for special skills, for work and even for feelings.

Speech etiquette takes its base on generally accepted human principles of morality. The essence of etiquette is identical in many cultures of different countries. This includes literacy, politeness in communication, restraint and the ability to use generally accepted formulas of speech that will correspond to a particular situation.

But there are still some cultural differences in the speech etiquette of countries. In Russia, for example, etiquette involves maintaining a conversation, including with unfamiliar (unfamiliar) people. A similar situation can occur in a confined space - an elevator, a train compartment, a bus interior.

In other countries (especially Asian countries - Japan, China, South Korea), people try to avoid talking to strangers. They try not to make eye contact with the interlocutor, do not pay attention to him, look at the phone. If the conversation cannot be avoided, then they talk on the most abstract and neutral topics (for example, about the weather).

Consider the difference in speech etiquette in different countries using Japan as an example.Relations between people in this country are based on traditions and have some conventions. In this country, any greeting is accompanied by an indispensable bow, which is called "ojigi".

Interesting relationships between people of different ages. If a person is older, then his position in society is higher than the position of a younger interlocutor. This rule is followed even in the family circle. The girl does not address her older brother by name, but uses the phrase “nii-san”, which means “elder brother”, the young man will address his older sister “onee-san” (translation - older sister).

If we compare the position of a man and a woman, then the man is a superior person. The same principle applies to father and mother. Although a woman may be the head of the family, her social status is lower.

In a work area where positions are strictly prescribed, a person with a lower rank will bow lower to a higher colleague.

A special place in Japan is given to greetings, an important place is occupied by bows. Residents of Japan bow to other people several times a day. Bowing when greeting helps create a favorable environment for communication. By this you have the interlocutor to yourself, showing such an important respect.

For us, these features of behavior (bows, for example) may seem strange, including from an aesthetic point of view, yet it is worth respecting foreign cultures and traditions. That's why when talking with a foreigner, you should have at least a small idea of ​​​​the stylistic communication and etiquette culture of his country. This will be a good basis for further communication with each other.

For the basics of speech etiquette and the rules of conversation, see the following video.