Rules for communicating with people

Each person is constantly in contact with others. In order for communication between people to be mutually polite and courteous, certain rules should be followed that will help avoid interpersonal conflict, and their tacit observance will leave a pleasant impression after the conversation.

In each new group or company, it is necessary to apply its own specific rules, often an individual approach to a person is necessary. Communication at home with relatives is very different from the way a person speaks at work or in a friendly company.

Speech ethics is a set of rules for decent speech behavior based on moral, historical and cultural traditions. The main principle of speech etiquette is parity - the equality of all parties in communication.

The concept of speech etiquette includes the sum of all norms of communication. These rules have not been compiled into a single collection, however, they should be followed by any educated and well-mannered person.

The essence of the difference between ethics and etiquette is that ethics is formed in the field of thinking, which is inaccessible to external observation.Etiquette is manifested only in the external environment. Etiquette reflects the psychological and social side of the personality, while ethics reflects the moral and motivational side.

Ethics and etiquette are visible in actions and in communication. However, ethics will manifest itself in self-assessment and assessment criteria, processes and results will not always be open to people. The etiquette is available for observation. Sometimes a person follows the rules of etiquette automatically, without thinking about his action, less often this is done intentionally and “in public”.

The ethical norms and principles inherent in a person form the basis of the morality of each person. Often they are presented as conscience. These standards and human qualities are not obvious. Each assessment of the actions of other people is subjective. The nature of assessments depends on the characteristics of each individual.

Ethical norms are contained in special speech formulas, which in different situations are able to reveal the true intentions of a person. The greeting always sets the tone for the conversation. Given the social status of each interlocutor, one of two options for addressing each other is selected: YOU-communication or YOU-communication.

To establish contact and maintain a conversation, you should constantly address a person by name, first name and patronymic, or taking into account his official position, depending on the rank and relationship between you.

It is worth paying attention to cultural and historical traditions when greeting and communicating with strangers. Previously, a person could be addressed like this: citizen, citizen, man, woman.In the current social conditions, a universal greeting is being developed for both a man and a woman.

When referring to loved ones or children, words with diminutive suffixes or funny paraphrases can be used instead of addressing as such. It is often used in emotional conversation.

Every language and every culture has a set of etiquette formulas. They help express your intentions. For example, when asking for forgiveness, words such as "sorry (those)" and "sorry (those)" are used.

In the request, it is best to use indirect statements, which will reduce the personal interest in the action in the eyes of the interlocutor and give the right to choose.. Examples of such constructions are the phrases: "Could you ... / Could you tell me ...?"

Congratulations formulas are much simpler. They look like this: appeal, reason, then wishes.

Some speech etiquette models can be associated not only with the canons, but also with the rules of modern life or with the foundations of a certain group of people. In this case, these forms can be considered as rituals of a separate group.

The reluctance to offend, hurt a person's feelings, cause discomfort leads to the use of euphemisms. A euphemism is a phrase that is neutral in meaning and does not carry an emotional load. Softening methods of communication are allusions and hints. In the traditions of Russian speech etiquette, it is not customary to talk about people present nearby in the third person. This technique allows everyone to be in a common information space and everyone to be involved in a conversational situation.

Polite behavior means that you will listen to the speech of the interlocutor from beginning to end. This shows your respect for him. Men interrupt more often - this is the conclusion of psychologists, women are more correct when addressing their interlocutor. Interruption is a sign of loss of interest in the conversation.

Communication can be divided into two types:

• verbal;
• non-verbal.

Verbal communication is carried out with the help of words, it can be divided into written and oral. Any form of verbal communication uses language. Language is understood as a system of signs and ways of combining them into one word, then into one sentence or thought. Any language is heterogeneous, it can be divided into literary and non-literary. The literary form of the language is a model with established norms and rules.

Verbal communication is based on speech situations. They can be divided into:

• speaking - the use of language to convey information;
• listening - perception of information in an understandable language;
• writing - transferring speech into writing;
• reading - reproduction of text in a familiar language from paper.

Non-verbal communication is more difficult to perceive, but, having learned its basics, you can better understand the interlocutor, see his true attitudes and feelings. If we consider the means of non-verbal communication, then any external manifestations of emotions during a conversation can be attributed to it.

Gestures are movements of the hands and head. This method of transmitting information between people is recognized as the most ancient of all existing. In modern realities, they are trying to create a generally accepted dictionary of gestures, however, in each country, gestures have a different historical meaning. Therefore, when communicating, it is best to find out in advance about the meaning of your favorite gestures.

Mimicry is the movement of facial muscles. Lips and eyebrows carry the main information for the interlocutor during communication. Separately, it is worth considering eye contact as part of facial expressions. Visual contacts also carry a certain semantic load:

• Business look - in this case, you look at the partner's forehead, this helps to create a more serious atmosphere.
• The social gaze is fixed on the triangle between the eyes and the mouth. This helps to defuse the situation and make it more friendly.
• An intimate look is most often directed to the neck or chest. If such a look is mutual, this indicates a high interest in each other.
• A sidelong glance is most often seen as a sign of hostility or disdain.

Pantomime - movements of the whole body. This includes posture, posture and gait.

Among the huge number of rules that regulate communication between people, it is necessary to single out a few of the most important, moreover, universal ones. The first thing to do is to establish eye contact with the interlocutor.

Trying to establish eye contact, do not be too zealous. Try not to be too close to the interlocutor. Most will think that you are violating his personal space, this often leads to discord in the conversation. One meter is considered the optimal distance.

It is necessary to know that it is more appropriate to call a person by name. When in the correct form you call the interlocutor by name, in his eyes you will be an extremely polite person, it will be more difficult to refuse your requests. But the frequent mention of the name, especially in one form, bothers. It is worth knowing how best to address the interlocutor so as not to cause him discomfort.

Constantly monitor the mood of the partner - this has a strong influence on the conduct of the conversation. In a good or average mood, it is best to smile once again, and in a bad mood, unobtrusively find out the reasons. Each person is pleased to realize that someone is interested in his problems. But at the same time, you should not try to “read” thoughts - this can turn the interlocutor away from you. It is best to wait for the moment when they tell you about life's problems and troubles.

When communicating, you need to constantly hear the interlocutor. Everyone can start giving some advice without hearing the opinion of the interlocutor on this issue. Such a position may cast doubt on the sincerity of your words and advice.

Every day we have conversations with different people. In addition to the mandatory rules, there are situational ones that must be applied only when communicating with a certain circle of people.

When communicating with friends or at home, many believe that there are no limits. Frequent sharp jokes, the use of "nicknames" in front of other people, talking in a raised voice - this does not strengthen friendships, but rather the opposite.

When interacting with children, remember that kids won't do what you tell them to. Children, most likely, will project your behavior onto others or onto you, will communicate with the elderly and adults just like you. You can’t put pressure on children only with your own physical strength, because later children, older and younger, will use this technique on you. It is always necessary to find a common language with them and get out of any situation so that everyone is happy. Particular attention should be paid to the communication of the child with peers.

When communicating in a business environment, remember that "brevity is the soul of wit". You should always express your thoughts briefly, but succinctly, without water and unnecessary information. It is necessary to constantly listen to colleagues at work, take into account their opinions when solving various issues. It is necessary to keep at a high level the culture not only of speech, but also of writing.

In social networks, you can see many aspects of the personal and even intimate life of many users. Etiquette recommends not doing this. You don't have to put your whole life on display. On social media, don't reply to trolls for their inappropriate, often offensive messages and comments. Etiquette discourages the frequent use of abbreviations in messages.

When talking on the phone, always be polite. Even if a stranger called you, try to find out the purpose of his call. It must be remembered that it is best to answer the call quickly - anyone will like efficiency. There are a number of rules for talking on the phone:

1. It is not recommended to call before 9 am and after 9 pm.
2. The conversation should begin with a greeting phrase.
3. Always introduce yourself by name, especially if you are calling someone you don't know or don't know well.
4. You need to find out if your interlocutor is comfortable to carry on a conversation.
5. Phone conversations should not last too long.
6. The conversation must be conducted in a friendly tone.
7. Thoughts must be expressed briefly.
8. It is necessary to end the conversation only after you make sure that your interlocutor has said and learned everything you need.

When dealing with people with disabilities, tolerance and patience must be shown. You should communicate with them on an equal footing, despite their illness. Their sphere of communication should be as large as everyone else's, because now the process of inclusion is in full swing.

The culture of communication is always laid down in childhood by parents, friends, school environment. Often, the communication models that were used in childhood may not be effective when communicating in adulthood. In order for communication to be effective, it is necessary to follow some rules:

• It is necessary to establish contact with the interlocutor. Without it, communication can completely lose its meaning.
• It is necessary to adhere to the same pace in speech.
• It is desirable to take a similar position of the body.
• You shouldn't talk too much and in a frivolous way. It's best to be specific.
• Constantly pay attention to non-verbal communication tools.
• At the end of the conversation, it is best to draw a conclusion whether the interlocutors correctly understood each other's thoughts and words.

In the modern world, it is necessary to know the rules for conducting a conflict-free dialogue with people in different situations, to be able to establish contact with people of any social status. Every self-respecting person should learn the culture of effective communication. It is possible to write a personal memo with all the rules for communicating with people.

For information on how to learn how to properly communicate with people, see the following video.