How to learn to communicate with people?

With the advent of mankind, a huge need for communication arose. Even in ancient times, without it, it was impossible to warn a fellow tribesman, express one's sympathy to a woman, teach children to survive and hunt, passing on their knowledge and skills to them. Today we have a clear system of symbols through which we can say absolutely everything we think. But even in modern society, some people experience communication difficulties and do not always know how to overcome them.

From birth, we begin to learn the language, which we subsequently speak all our lives. However, the ability to pronounce sounds in the correct sequence does not mean that we have the art of communication, this can be compared with onomatopoeia. A person speaks when his words make sense, when they are used with some meaning in a particular situation.

As a person grows older, they have to communicate more and more. On this depends his successful socialization in kindergarten, the ability to "settle down" at school, the degree of success at the university and at work. When communicating with peers, it is important to try to become an interesting conversationalist for them, to be able to attract attention to yourself. Adults should see you as a worthy opponent, a person with whom it is pleasant to deal.

But being interesting enough for everyone is difficult, and for some, this goal can be almost impossible to achieve. There are several factors that prevent people from fully communicating:

• Personal complexes and self-doubt. In this case, a person simply does not believe that he can interest someone in a conversation, he does not dare to express his thoughts and ideas.
• The opposite phenomenon heightened self-esteem. Such people put themselves above others. People around do not understand them and do not seek to make contact with them.
• Active use of social networks. Online communication can cause fear of real meetings, self-doubt.
• Poor intellectual development. A small set of knowledge narrows the range of topics that a person can communicate with, so it quickly becomes boring with him.

Communication has always played an important role in human life. As soon as people learned to communicate with each other, it became important to be able to properly build a dialogue, to please the one you like, even to verbally punish the offender. There are so many different factors in a person’s life that you need to be able to control and subjugate to yourself that nothing can work out without the right communication skills. In addition, the consequences of not being able to communicate can even negatively affect your life.

At work, you may not be promoted, even if you deserve it, simply because you fail to successfully establish contacts and conduct business negotiations. In family life, you will also not be able to avoid problems if you do not learn to find a common language with a partner. If you don’t have common topics for conversation, or you can’t resolve controversial situations and find a compromise, relationships can “crack”.

All modern society is based on the ability to properly build speech and communicate with others. Well-known politicians, scientists and artists would not be so famous if they could not subdue the attention of a large number of people with one word.

In modern society, the ability to properly conduct a conversation is an important aspect. In the process of communication, the interlocutors perceive each other, exchange information, personal and business interaction, search for solutions.

If you have not received oratory skills from nature, you should not hang your nose and give up. The ability to speak beautifully and achieve the desired results in a conversation can be learned on your own. The main thing is to know what is required for this. For effective communication, it is important to decompose the communication process into components and specifically work out each of them:

• Gaining self-confidence is important. First of all, in order to learn how to communicate normally, you need to start respecting yourself. You must confidently express your thoughts, even if they are erroneous, because your point of view has the right to exist.It will be clear to your opponent that you need to be reckoned with, that your judgments make sense, and they can be listened to.
• Try to deal with your fear. Many insecure people behave in a dialogue passively. They are afraid to ask questions, to be interested in something, to express their opinion, so as not to bring down the indignation of others. They are afraid of judgmental looks, possible unpleasant comments addressed to them. Do not be afraid to carry on the conversation in a way that suits you, ask about everything that interests you.

• Treat the interviewer with respect and tact. Do not interrupt the speaker, give him the opportunity to speak fully, even if you do not agree with his arguments. Only then calmly express your opinion.
• Try not to get distracted by extraneous topics. The ability to express your thoughts beautifully and competently, while speaking to the point, will allow you to quickly earn respect in society.
• Must be able to inspire the trust of the interlocutor. To achieve this goal, you need very little - just look into the eyes of a partner. Eye contact makes it easy to connect. If a person lowers or hides his gaze, his behavior is not always perceived as a sign of embarrassment. More often this is regarded as insincerity or even a lie. Such a conversation will not bring you anything good.

• It is important to show genuine interest in the interlocutor. During a conversation with an unfamiliar person, you need to give him the opportunity to talk about himself, to express his thoughts. Don't talk too much. A monologue can quickly tire a person, and he is unlikely to want to talk to you again. You need to make the person feel at ease in your company. Interest in the conversation should be mutual.Don't forget to use your opponent's name. This nuance will also show your interest in it.
• It is also important to be able to ask the right questions. This is especially necessary if you are just getting to know a person and want to learn more about him. The art of asking questions correctly makes it possible to receive full-fledged detailed answers instead of a restrained “yes” or “no”. So you can make the conversation easy and interesting, allowing the interlocutor to feel confident and free in your company.
• Use of knowledge and erudition - no less important point. A person with a large stock of knowledge, it is easier to start and maintain any conversation. Communication with such people delivers a lot of positive emotions to all interlocutors.

If you want to take an active part in discussions, and sometimes even become the initiator of a conversation, it is important to be able to attract people to yourself, to be interesting to others. Choosing the right theme is already half the battle. If you prepare in advance for a conversation, read as much information as possible on this issue, you will be well-versed in it and you will always find something to say. It is only important to give out information in portions and at the right moments, otherwise the communication will look like a report.

To make the topic of conversation interesting and convenient for everyone, it is important to clarify whether someone objects to this conversation, and only then start an active discussion. The unwillingness of someone from the group to communicate may show his weak knowledge in this matter or great self-doubt. If a person does not protest, but does not take part in communication, you need to involve him in a conversation, ask his opinion.Gradually, a person will gain confidence and become a participant in the conversation.

In order for communication in a team to be pleasant and easy, it is important to consider only two main factors. The most important thing is to find an individual approach to each member of the team or a specific conversation. If you communicate with people new to you, try to exchange general phrases with each participant in the conversation in order to form an opinion about him, determine the type of his temperament, and learn about character traits.

The second point is the ability to listen. We know how to speak from childhood, but the art of attentive attitude to the interlocutor is much more important. This is necessary in order for the conversation to be interesting, informative and enjoyable for all its participants. Don't interrupt the narrator. So you will give the impression of an uncultured person. In addition, your interference may throw the speaker out of his thoughts. Respect everyone involved in the conversation and you will be treated the same.

Getting to know a person of the opposite sex requires special skills. Even with self-confidence and positive communication experience with your peers, it can be difficult to start communication with a member of the opposite sex. To make the acquaintance pleasant for both parties, it is important to follow some tips:

• Be natural. Don't try to be funny all the time or be overly serious. If you want to make a good impression, be yourself. It is sincerity that will help attract attention to you, and then conquer your future soulmate. Only in this way can you make communication alive and exciting.
• Starting a conversation, follow not only the vocabulary, but also the correctness of humor and the topics raised in the conversation. Inappropriate jokes and too personal questions can not only not interest a person, but even repel him.
• When you first meet, keep your distance, respect your personal space. You should not hug a representative of the opposite sex without his consent. At the beginning of the interaction, it is better to focus on building a dialogue.
• At the first contact, it is important to often look the interlocutor in the eyes and smile sincerely. This will show your openness, interest and sympathy for the person. Only in this way will you get a pleasant conversation that can later develop into something more.

In the course of daily communication, we encounter a huge number of people. Different characters, upbringing, social status, age and many other nuances affect the process of communication with each specific person. You must learn to apply an individual approach to different interlocutors, otherwise you may find yourself in an unpleasant situation.

Each person is a unique individual, and this must be reckoned with. If you disagree with someone, don't immediately criticize them. Calmly express your point of view and try to find a compromise.

Communicating with some people, you should not discuss others. Firstly, your words may sooner or later "reach" the object of your conversation. Secondly, the reputation of a person who discusses and criticizes everyone will not bring you popularity. On the contrary, you will push people away from you. Few people want to openly communicate with such an unpleasant person.

To build a dialogue with any interlocutor, it is important to treat him with respect, try to understand the features of his character, choose topics that are of interest to both sides of the dialogue. Before fiercely engaging in a discussion with a stranger, it is worth checking the “ground”, talking about something neutral.

Often insecure people are afraid to start a conversation with someone they don't know. It can be difficult for such individuals to find friends, start a romantic relationship. In a conversation, they are afraid to take the initiative, because for them it is unacceptable to condemn their point of view, the risk of hearing ridicule in their address.

Such fear is often associated with events that occurred in childhood or adolescence. During these periods, the human psyche is still unstable, and it is easy to deal an irreparable blow to it.

If you are embarrassed to start a conversation or take an active part in discussions and cannot cope on your own, try special exercises. They will help you loosen up and gain self-confidence.

To make communication with you interesting and enjoyable, do not forget about the main points:

• be tactful and polite, respectful of the interlocutor;
• carefully choose the words and intonation for the conversation so as not to offend anyone;
• do not underestimate the role of gestures, many people use them to “read” your mood and attitude to the conversation;
• be attentive to people, and they will answer you the same.

Useful recommendations on communication skills you will learn from the following video.